Aftermath
by TellMeDoYouWanna
Summary: She tries to smile but cannot—-a bleak tug at the lips, that is all. “Kaname-oniisama always...favoured me above the others,” Yuuki whispers. “You must have hated me for it...ne, Hanabusa?”Sequel to 'Moments Like These'. AidoxYuuki, slight KxY/ZxY
1. Acceptance

(***A/N:** This story's set some five years or so ever since Kaname and Yuuki left Cross Academy. Aido, Ruka and Kain are staying over with them, and it's a total fastforward thingy...there's a new Council and everything...bleh ....

Aido's kinda angsting in the first bit, but it's more subdued now that he's accepted Kaname and Yuuki's relationship etc. etc...I've tried making him grow up a lil...he's still the same but his feelings for Yuuki aren't really...THAT obsessive anymore lol ... this one starts with a Kain and Aido thingy lol ...god i just love these two!! XD)

**Disclaimer:** I'll give you three options and there's only one of them that I actually CAN choose without a lawsuit being filed against me ^_^

* * *

Snow. Pure, falling, sunlit snow. Falling white tears frozen into flawless, crystallized purity, fading away to a silent, untainted death.

Untouched. Unclaimed. A mere remnant of what once I had known you to be.

So…beautiful.

The falling blossoms of the sakura tree planted right by your window drench the air in their subtle, delicate sweetness, a scent vivid enough to drive one to madness, and yet neither strong nor weak—merely _there…_a faint whirring insistence tugging against the senses.

I watch them fall, watch them mingle with the snow, watch them glimmer white-silver in the numinous winter moonlight which makes them appear no more than falling silver-flecked tears…I see only you. Frozen purity. Untainted innocence.

A soul so pure against the darkness of its world that to deny its virtue would be a lie in itself.

Even after all this…I…I still love you, Yuuki-chan.

Or should I say…_Kuran Yuuki-sama?_

The raw, aching wounds torn into the untouched flesh of my chest upon Kaname-sama's revelation have diminished now to dull, intermittent throbs of an agony I do not attempt to save myself from. My gaze loses focus. Nails no longer drive into sore flesh. My heart no longer finds within itself the strength to grieve, to rage, to storm so uselessly at a fate no power in this world could ever save you from.

A fate that, so swiftly, so inexorably, drew you away from me, carrying you away on its white wings towards the man who can spend an eternity and more by your side.

It has been…so long. So, so very long. A mere five years, and yet what would otherwise be mere, fleeting brushes of ephemeral transience to my senses, now stretches long and relentlessly—leaving my existence now a cruel, tainted mockery I know holds no more value.

A mere five years since you were revealed as the younger sister and…and… _fiancée_ of the royal pureblood heir, Kuran Kaname.

A mere five years since Kurosu Gakuen was annihilated, an empty hollow shell of what was formerly a symbol of peace, of coexistence between two worlds that should otherwise never have ever met.

A mere five years since you and that hunter, Kiryuu Zero, parted ways.

A mere five years since you were that innocent human girl with hair cropped short till your shoulders and eyes that gazed wide and unknowing and so innocently at a world so dark, so terrible that a soul such as yours should never have been born into…she who stumbled over her feet and slipped over her words, who always blurted out the first thing that came to her mind, and who followed her prefect duties with the innocent, unwavering sincerity of a fool…

That girl who held a heart within her as loving, as affectionate, as accepting as it was strong, unshakable, capable of giving its love to anyone…_anyone_ seeking its warmth—no matter how vile…no matter how tainted.

That girl…that girl that Aido Hanabusa had fallen so deeply, so irrevocably in love with.

No, no…she no longer lives. She is now a woman.

A woman I had lost myself to…whom I had already lost so…so many, many years ago, as she sat, waiting for another, by the Night Class staircase. A woman that was never mine to lose.

Kuran Yuuki.

Her hair now ripples in elegant jet-black skeins down her back—still gleaming with hints of its former wine-scarlet beneath the sunlight, her eyes hold now a composed serenity, a self-possessed guardedness so expected from those of her stature—her movements are fluid, sensual, holding the feline, vampiric grace of a Kuran pureblood…no longer the lively, springing trot of a young girl. Her face lacks the childlike softness of her youth, now planed and angled, yet still holding an exquisiteness absent in her brother's…

What now I see in my mind, is a woman—her features now planed, finer, a subtle sharpness along the dainty chin and high, refined cheekbones, a darkening somehow to the brows and lashes, a sudden, yet gradual appearance of pleasing shape and curves to a formerly girlish frame that only my heated, feverish, sweat-riddled dreams of yearning, unfulfilled desire can lay claim upon…

And yet…and yet…her heart remains the same. The same generous, almost foolish welcoming of all drawing to the warmth she unconsciously allows all the world to partake of—even despite the lack of familiarity her role of a pureblood demands of her…the same trusting nature, the same endearing constancy of honorifics when she speaks to us—even now she sometimes, mistakenly, addresses me as _senpai…_

Of that…I have no fear. Her role as a pureblood has not taken away that untainted purity of spirit that had so made me love her as I did…that same undefiled innocence which, despite her growing maturity in this new world she had been so abruptly thrust into, remained untouched…the same girl Kiryuu Zero had loved with a love that rivalled my own for her in its dark, violent depth, in its jealous, murderous, possessive intensity…that same girl he had sworn to kill were they ever to meet again, merely because he the hunter and she the pureblood could never be truly be as one…

The sole cause of her tears. The sole cause of the thousands of sleepless nights I spend, fighting back my own tormented anguish to sense the dark, serpentine ripples of grief that brush against my consciousness—so intimately linked with hers, knowing it to be her grief…knowing it to be her pain…knowing, hating that bastard for causing her so to weep at a friendship so recklessly broken…

And yet…knowing that I would have reacted the same way—knowing that I too would have sought to distance myself from her…this last, futile attempt of denied emotion, knowing as I would have that in light of the present circumstances, no power in the world could ever have compelled her to want to belong to me as I so longed to belong to her….

Knowing that it is Kaname-sama's arms that close around her, comforting her those nights…

Knowing that it is Kaname-sama's lips that press softly against her own, brushing away her tears, murmuring gentle words of comfort…

Knowing that it is Kaname-sama who holds her heart within his grasp…"Hanabusa, that's the fifth glass of wine you've managed to freeze over."

Akatsuki's voice is short, clipped—even now, his slight irritation over his inability to refuse my skipping duties yet one more time, rankles.

I glance up at him, already clad in his dark travelling cloak, tie drawn neatly up to his neck—an anomaly somehow to his usual near bare-chested appearance, the languid lack of a tie, the casual unbuttoned exposure of the shirt, and feel a small tug at my lips. "Prettying yourself up already, huh?" I observe, feeling a sudden lightening fill my chest. Trust Akatsuki to save me from the inner hell I must acknowledge as my ignored conscience. Trust Akatsuki to know. Trust Akatsuki to accept my love for her. "Is that really what being engaged to the woman you've loved since you were in your diapers do?"

He growls and swipes at my head—I duck, grinning, holding up the glass of wine towards him. "You mind? I'm going to need it to keep me up and about with Yuuki-ch…sama-" even now my tongue falters slightly over the honorific. "-under my protection."

Akatsuki glares at me. His engagement to Ruka, after the customary half-year of courtship, had sobered him even more than her inability to accept his feelings for her during our younger years had. "It's the _fifth_ damn time you're staying back…" he grumbles now half-heartedly, though continuing to dust the ruffles along his collar, neatening himself up even more for the impending visit to the newly-reinstated council under Kaname-sama's unacknowledged supremacy, where his soon-to-be father-in-law, Souen Shoutaro, Ruka's _otousama_, would be one of the members—a duty he and I shared in turns to accompany our pureblood leader for, a duty I now found myself escaping from more and more, so as to fulfil the other, far more appealing prospect that lay for me were I to do so. "Thank your stars Kaname-sama's not suspecting anything…not yet at least."

I grin as he runs a solitary finger over the wine glass, melting its contents into dark fluidity. I take a long drink, feeling the spiced darkness flow down my throat. "Ah, come _on_…it's not like you've ever enjoyed staying back either, eh? From what I remember, you always wanted to be the one in the middle of all the action."

Akatsuki rolls his eyes. "You speak of a council Kaname-sama has wrapped around his little finger. They fall to his feet, fawning and slavering, were he even to look their way."

"Including Shoutaro-_ojiisama_?"

He flinches slightly at the sound of the name, a momentary shudder passing through him. I chuckle with glee at his discomfort. "He alone may be the sole exception," Akatsuki mutters, running a hand nervously through his mussed red-gold hair.

Another sip of wine. "Which would explain why you'd make a far better advisor to Kaname-sama than me, Akatsuki."

My cousin pours himself a drink as well. Unlike the sweet languor of the red wine I now drink, he prefers the sharper tang of white. "I see not how. Enlighten me."

I shrug. "Simple," I said, beginning to count off my fingers—knowing that he knows the true, unspoken reason, our banter a mere casual mockery between brothers. "You know all too well your place among vampiric nobility. I do not. You prefer actually being in the middle of a course of events which will eventually shape the movements of vampiric history. I do not. You prefer accompanying our…um…what was it? _Gang leader?_ Ah, yes…gang leader, to such events. I do not. You find no reason to want to disobey his every, cursorily-thrown order towards you. I do not. Need any reasons more? I have several."

He frowns, folding his arms across his chest, gazing at me. "You would disobey Kaname-sama?" Akatsuki's words are incredulous, eyebrows raised in mild disbelief. "Hanabusa, am I hearing this from _you?"_

I look at him, tone and gaze rivalling each other in their categorical manner. "My loyalty to Kaname-sama was relinquished a long time ago. You know that, Akatsuki."

Akatsuki continues to frown at me. "And that would explain why you've been drowning your sorrows all this while?" He waves a hand over the several glasses of wine littering the table.

I gaze unseeingly at the glass in my hand. "Perhaps," I murmur, accepting with a sense of grim fatality how unconsciously I continue to suffer without her.

Akatsuki shakes his head, sighing at what I know to be my gaze when I turn to stare longingly towards the darkened staircase, which I know lead to our lady's chambers. "Yuuki-ch…sama-" I pause, closing my eyes, taking another, deeper draught, feeling the familiar sensation akin to champagne bubbles rising in my chest at the thought of…of her, knowing that it is not merely the wine which causes this. "Yuuki…sama is the only reason I no longer wish to accompany Kaname-sama to the Council, Akatsuki. You…you of all others should know that."

My cousin sighs, taking another sip of his drink. He leans forward, abruptly smacking me across the head.

Riled, I round on him angrily—angered at him for spoiling the mood. "HOI! What the hell was that for, Akatsuki?"

He finishes his wine with another gulp, palm swiping across his chin to capture the white droplets. "You're overly melodramatic today, Hanabusa," Akatsuki comments. "It bores me to death."

"So that's no reason to hit me for it! That hurt, Akatsuki!"

"Ahhh, that does it," he relaxes. "Now you're back to your normal self. Yell, yell some more, will you? You're beginning to sound more and more like Ruka-"

"Don't say it-" I growl, taking menacingly to my feet—the intent to mildly incapacitate, if not kill, rising in icy sheets from my fingertips. "_Don't_ _say it, Akatsuki_-_"_

Akatsuki rolls his eyes, unfazed. "Drink your wine like a good boy, Hanabusa…" he pours me a drink and passes it over. A peace offering, Kain Akatsuki-style. "It'll…keep you up for Yuuki-sama, _ne?"_

Stymied momentarily at the sound of her name, I merely sulk—raising the drink to my lips and taking a long gulp. "I know I can't…I shouldn't feel like this for her," I admit, knowing and hating the tremble in my voice, sipping again. The wine keeps away the pain. "But there's no reason for you keep reminding me of it!" I snap nastily at him with renewed vigour, glaring at my cousin.

His eyes raise slightly, lips moving silently, forming soundless words, fingers twitching a little.

My glare deepens. "What is it?"

Akatsuki smirks. "Just counting down the days, Hanabusa."

I feel my irritation rise, threatening to explode through the roof of my skull, almost feeling the steam rise from my ears. "Counting down the days till what exactly?" I ask snappily, knowing that it is something that will cause me to want to empty the fluid contents of the glass I hold in my hand over his head.

Akatsuki's grin widens fractionally. "Counting down the days till the gang leader decides that Hana-chan's pretty blonde head looks even prettier off its shoulders."

I let out a yelp of outrage, more so at the childish nickname Ruka had made up for me—aiming a smack at my taller cousin's head, forgetting completely the better weapon I held in the form of my wine-glass.

Akatsuki doubles over, shaking helplessly now with laughter—holding back my half-hearted effort at striking him with a single raised elbow. "You're _priceless_…" my cousin declares, eyes lit with mirth—something I had only seen in him as a child. His union with Ruka had mellowed him greatly. "You're becoming more and more like…like _Kiryuu_ these days, you know that? Always whining and bitching about Kaname-sama—and behind his back too—and that he's the only reason you can't…you can't…"

It is only a deep swig of the wine that alleviates the slow burning in my chest—glaring peevishly at him, tamed now into sitting back to my seat, arms crossed over my chest. "I know what it's like for both of us, okay? You're bored stiff here at home, I'm bored stiff off there in the Council. You fall asleep here at home and Yuuki-ch…sama gets horribly bored and sets about finding the most _adorable_ ways of setting the house on fire. I fall asleep in the Council meetings and have to suffer being mentally beheaded by Kaname-sama every time. Every. Damn. Time! You see your being seen _standing_ next to Kaname-sama as license enough to elope and have a thousand babies with Ruka were Shoutaro-_ojiisama_ to even glance your way. I…" I pause, closing my eyes, feeling the familiar warm strains of protectiveness creep into my chest. "Whatever little time I can spend by Yuuki-ch…sama's side…I will."

Akatsuki is silent for a while, a hint of a grin playing at his lips, though only my eyes can see the slight melancholy behind it. "Sentimental bastard," he mutters.

"Opportunist."

"Simpleton."

"_Baka!"_

"Village idiot."

"Juvenile!"

"Hana-chan."

I fling a cushion at him. "You're no better, Su…Suki-chan!" I howl back at him. Were we still to have been children, I would perhaps have stuck out my tongue.

Akatsuki chuckles, raising his hands in a placating manner. "Doesn't change the fact that you speak of Yuuki-sama as though she were a puppy or kitten, Hana-chan…" I fling another cushion at him in outrage. He catches it easily, replacing it onto the couch, and straightens up, tugging onto his tie once more. "Just what exactly do you do whenever you two are all alone together, huh?"

I feel a heat steadily beginning to rise up my cheeks. "That's none of your business," I mumble, crossing my legs unconsciously.

Akatsuki's brows rise in a manner so reminiscent of Ruka's that the similarity does not go by unnoticed. "You…you…" His head falls to his hand, shaking with suppressed mirth. "Hanabusa, you brainless _wanker_-"

"That's not what I meant!" I howled, leaping for him, knowing how he so had interpreted my crossing of legs. "Pervert!" I lunge forward, intent on punching him when—

"Kaname-sama-" Akatsuki tawny, hawk-like gaze falls towards the staircase, holding me back with a single open palm resting easily against my head, while my wild struggling slowly ceases. "You'd best clear up this mess, Hanabusa." He motions towards the several opened bottles and wine-glasses that littered the table.

I straighten, feeling my movements turning strangely stiff, jerky, almost robot-like with the impending arrival_._ I feel Akatsuki sigh, shaking his head at what he perceives to be my childishness, my inability to accept my place—and I do not blame him. As much as my vampire senses compel me to revere and fear a pureblood—and especially Kaname-sama, whom my conscience refuses to allow me to betray, because of the terrible, inexplicable jealousy that had compelled me to speak so cruelly of him as an ignorant child…the emotion that stirs now within me at the sight of the tall, dark-haired pureblood making his silent way down the stairs, is something akin to…to…resentment. Bitterness. Almost…almost hatred.

My reasons for these are simple. I was jealous. Plain and simple. Dangerously, murderously, inexplicably jealous.

Jealous that he could so lay claim upon the only woman I had ever truly loved.

Jealous that he held this power before me like a child mocking its playmate with a shinier toy—taunting me, tormenting me, intent on having me lose my mind to the boundless, impotent anguish that it so causes me to see her belong so…so irrevocably to another.

Jealous that…that he is the only one who causes my beautiful Yuuki's eyes to gleam with love and darken with desire, who causes her body to soften against his in pliant yearning, and causes those lips to tremble, whispering that she is only…only his. _His. _

Were I to have been born a pureblood…I would not have hesitated to take his life with my own hands then.

Even as I bow, a toneless "Kaname-sama…" escaping my lips—not needing to see from the corner of my eye Akatsuki's actions mirroring mine, his bow far, far deeper than my own—the motions my body involuntarily assume are hollow, meaningless, almost mechanical—no longer holding the desire to atone, nor seek forgiveness, and acceptance. Call it a weakness of nature that compelled me so to…to _pity_ the pureblood almost—compelling me to so will myself to occupy a lesser, inferior position to him…the least I could do somehow, to lessen the pain my cruel words must have caused him as a child.

My feelings for Kaname-sama were far from being the same as Ruka's. Unlike her, I actually had a tangible reason for so wishing to serve the pureblood. There was no reason for infatuation. It was the same as putting a reason to an occurrence as wonderful, as inconvenient and feared and celebrated as love.

And what had Ruka's emotions been but confused infatuation? What had mine been but an inescapable encounter with a conscience that would not let me rest until I gained Kaname-sama's acceptance, his forgiveness?The pureblood's dark, crimson-flecked eyes flicker momentarily over us, before his voice—smooth, dark, silken, speaks.

"You wish to stay back yet once more, Aido?"

My eyes snap up towards him in disbelief, momentarily stunned at the faint, unfamiliar trace of amusement lightening a tone otherwise so cold, so cursory—feeling the familiar unpleasant coil of bitter jealousy flare to life within me at the near-impossible magnificence of the dark-haired pureblood leader. I had, earlier, fixed my eyes resolutely to the patent suede-leather shoes concealing his feet.

Hair darker than the midnight sky by the windows falling in straight, untamed locks to his shoulders, dark, slanting eyes holding, almost tauntingly, the same hints of wine-scarlet as that of his younger sister, a slim, ascetic face—holding the remote melancholic beauty so seen among royalty—graced with the features of a young god, a frame lean and pale—as slender as a birch branch, and yet holding a strength, a power inexplicable to my mind, veins rife with the purest, most undiluted blood of the vampire ancients.

The pureblood stands before me—his dark raiment simple, and yet the understated appeal holding to it a seamless elegance, a faultless refinity I cannot ever truly hope to reach to.

Kuran Kaname. A god among men and vampires alike. The undisputed pureblood among purebloods.

The sole barrier to the only true happiness I had ever known.

And yet, I continue to assume this position of willing servitude to him.

"I-I…I do, Kaname-sama," I mumble, lowering my eyes once more, feeling a sudden embarrassed heat beginning to rise along my neck, knowing that I had no reason to offer were he to question my motives. I had no reason, no explanation to give…save for the one that would have me lying, broken, bleeding onto the ground in mere moments were he to hear it. "If it were to act in accordance to your wish of Yuuki…sama's protection-"

He does not miss the delay in the honorific—the fractional raise to his eyebrow is sole testament to this. "They remain so, as much as I do doubt the reasons behind your repeated stays," the pureblood murmurs, beginning to pull on the dark trench coat lying atop the table in a neat pile Akatsuki and I had avoided like the plague. "I do so wonder why."

Akatsuki stiffens slightly, gaze flickering slightly at me. All time seems to stop. I keep my gaze lowered, unwilling to meet his own dark, dangerous one—knowing that were I to do so, it would be my own undoing, knowing this and cursing my weakness. "I…I…"

"To where do I see this shift in loyalties, Aido?" Kaname-sama questions, his voice conversational, almost perfunctory—and yet, it would be a fool to miss the ominous flicker behind what would otherwise be a simple intonation. "Do you see this evasion as some kind of an escape from a duty you would not otherwise choose? Or am I to wonder…" the air around me chills as he takes a step towards me. Kaname-sama's stride has now been reduced to the languorous stalk of a predator, the slight amusement in his voice now lost in a darker, shadowy reminiscence of its earlier form. "Am I to wonder then that your abstinence from the Council hints that you choose to alienate yourself from such…trivial matters, hmm, Aido?" His voice is a silken threat. "That you would rather spend your time in the pursuit of a foolish interest that would most probably have your ashes lying at my feet?"

The familiar dark spear of agony probing into my mind—I reel back, gasping, as the flashes of memory fill my very being.

_"You're really…really…tempting me…Yuuki-chan…"_

_Hot, heaving breath. Aroused, feverish sweat. Blood, rushing in sweet, silken spurts through vein. Her wrist in mine—the skin as smooth, as pale as a sheet of milky porcelain; she stands now in my arms—her frame so slender, so delicate that I fear the smallest release of the passion curling a fire in my belly at her nearness would break her…our proximity almost an embrace—and my senses, starved of her sight, her scent, the taste of her breath, the color of her smile, the cool breeze of her laughter…they now crave for her blood._

_"Aido-senpai…stop! Please! Drinking on the academy grounds is forbidden, you know that! Please stop!"_

_Her eyes, coloured as the blackest roses, widen in fear, bewilderment, confusion, anger, worry—flickering towards the two Day Class girls lying in a heap a few feet behind her. And yet…what is this? A flicker of nervous excitement? Desire? Longing? Blood fires through my veins in a heady rush—I pull her closer, tongue beginning to lave the warm, moist flesh of her wrist…_

_"Just a bite…just a little bite…just a drop of your blood…Yuuki-chan…"_

_Do you see what you do to me? Do you feel the pleasurable hardening of my aroused manhood pressing against the back of your thigh as I tighten my hold over you—both from the dark sweetness of your scented blood, as well as your nearness to me? Do you feel the frenzied pounding of my heart beginning to tear wounds of inexplicable sweetness into my chest? Do you sense the first drops of sweat beginning to stain my brow, the slight panting rush to the breaths I draw in now, blood rushing to my steadily-hardening manhood as I draw you even closer?_

_Liar. I know you do._

"A-Aido…sen…sen…pai…"

_My tongue reaches out, keeping the bite of my fangs as gentle as I can, lapping softly at the trickle of blood blossoming against the pale silk of your wrist…a dark pearl against a swathe of gossamer…_

The agony recedes with the abruptness of intended torment, leaving me winded—knees crumpling beneath me—I collapse atop the table, breathless, panting, breath wheezing in shallow, laboured gasps, pride allowing only my palms before me to break my fall and have me sprawled across the gleaming wood.

A trickle of blood by my cheek. I had bitten my tongue in an effort to negate the pain.

This…lack of trust, this suspicion arising from the pureblood…it does not surprise me. And yet…and yet, why do my eyes burn with unshed tears? Why? From the memory, perhaps? From the longing drawn from my barren heart, watching a memory of the days when I was freer to love her as I so wished to?

From the fact, perhaps, that Kaname-sama saw me as a threat because of my irrevocable desire for blood? From the fact that, perhaps, he perceived the depth of unrequited emotion I held for his lover? What else could have aroused such a deep bloodlust, aside from love—or a yearning, lust-ridden hunger deep enough to banish all thought of restraint?

A hint of triumph quivers within me. Could it be possible that the formidable pureblood saw me as a…as a _rival?_

A rustle of cloth. A jarring darkness crashing softly against my own like the waves of a poisonous ocean. "You see now where my fears most lie, Aido?" Kaname-sama's presence is a dark, swirling sentinel against my own, which cowers now like a wounded animal. Haggard. Faded. "You see now why I cannot but question your motives of suddenly assuming that you even have a choice in the matter? How then am I supposed to trust my Yuuki's protection upon your hands?"

The faint hint of an emphasis on _my_ is an agony far greater than any suffering I may experience by the pureblood's infliction. The faint underlying message behind his eloquence is clear—he thought I longed to stay behind and protect my beautiful Yuuki only because…only because…

_Only because you desire her blood…_

Akatsuki's eyes are closed in pain, steeling himself away from a natural brotherly instinct I know he would otherwise react to—leaping to my defence for a cause I know he sympathizes with me for. He does not move to help me—knowing at once that to do so, would court death, as well as shatter whatever little pride I had salvaged by remaining as I did so.

I straighten up with whatever little dignity remaining with me, keeping my eyes fixed resolutely onto Kaname-sama's shoes, watching the patterns of light glimmering upon the dark leather. "You have no need to fear. My loyalty…lies with Yuuki-sama and Yuuki-sama alone," I speak softly, but from where within myself I find the strength to raise my eyes and fix them onto his, to bring that note of steadiness to my voice, I will never know. "You need not fear for her safety…Kaname-sama. I…I would not dare to forget my place so."

The pureblood is silent, dark, fathomless eyes seeming to scour within my soul, mercilessly wringing out its deepest, darkest secrets—hunting for that faint, elusive trace of revelation which would so justify his arm to raise, striking me down to an effortless death. Even now, I feel the dark spears of agony jabbing against my consciousness—seamless, unforced, almost…almost half-hearted now, knowing as he does that I would never intentionally do anything to hurt his…his lover.

A momentary lapse. I wince, tears springing to my eyes at a particularly sharp probe—grasp tightening over the chair nearest to me, teeth gritting, an involuntary _"Unh!" _of pain escaping my lips.

But even then, I give him nothing. He can never know. I will never let him know. My cousin, standing by the pureblood—silent, suffering—will forever remain the only one to know the dark, hopeless depth of my love for his younger sister and lover…Yuuki.

Kaname-sama withdraws, a faint glimmer of reassurance flickering across his dark eyes—deeming me no longer a threat, and steps away, his stride smooth, unruffled. My cousin follows silently.

I know not what stops me from collapsing onto the table once more.

The pureblood lord pauses abruptly—a movement as fluid as liquid silk, and yet what causes Akatsuki to nearly walk into him. A pale profile—as finely-carved as the purest sculptures of ice-like ivory found in the mountains of the north—turns towards me, eyes dark, infinite, to all appearances mild, almost amused—the ominous waves of danger rolling off in subtle waves, causing the hair along my arms to stand on its edge.

At his closer proximity, I wonder what Akatsuki must feel—to experience, from a nearer immediacy a pureblood's warning of future punishment.

Kaname-sama says nothing, merely gazes at me—marvelling somehow at this newfound strength, at once impressed as well as guarded, knowing what lies here at stake. I pray that he knows nothing, that he senses nothing, that he remains ignorant of the emotion that binds us together to the same woman. The pureblood lord is not known as omniscient for nothing.

And yet…to have hidden something as life-threatening from him for so, so very long…

When he speaks, it causes a ripple of coldness to cascade down my spine.

"Know your place when you so choose to remain behind, Aido. Know that the only reason I allow you even the slightest propinquity with my lover, is because she has…requested it," the faintest hint of aghast disbelief flicker across his features. "Know that it is only the power roused within your blood along with her awakening as a Kuran pureblood because of your…_attentions_-" he spoke the word as though it made his teeth hurt. "-that allows me to have you remain her shield. Know that I shall make you beg for your death were you to…overstep your boundaries, Aido."

Somehow…somehow, I have accustomed myself to this cold, cursory treatment. It is no different from his treatment of me during our days at Kurosu Gakuen.

But to know that Yuuki herself has requested me to stay…a quiver of hope trembles within my chest—one that I suppress now, for fear of Kaname-sama discovering it…feeling a sudden heady sensation explode to life within my heart, exhilarating me, like the thrilling intoxication of dark wine. _Yuuki…Yuuki had requested me to stay? She had…she had requested it? She wished me to stay with her? She wished me to stay by her side?_I dare not raise my eyes, for fear of Kaname-sama catching sight of the irrepressible joy that gleams there now.

And despite my happiness…the pureblood's words are relentless. To break a man's spirit…it is child's play for Kaname-sama.

"Know that Kuran Yuuki's blood, body and heart are mine and mine alone, and forever shall remain so…Aido Hanabusa."

And he is gone, stride holding the same undeniable majesty of the power he so effortlessly wields, cloak flaring from behind him as the great doors of the mansion open of their own accord, letting in a rush of cold wind, allowing him to leave. As a whim, the pureblood leaves them slightly open to admit Akatsuki.

My cousin lingers—an overt break of protocol, which demands one of lesser status to immediately follow a pureblood. Despite this, he stays. Akatsuki's eyes are lowered, shameful, unable to look at me. "We'll…be back come dawn," he mutters, his voice a low growl. He shuffles uncertainly. "Just don't…don't do anything stupid, okay? You…you know he knows. And he still lets you stay with her. Don't…don't give him a reason to kill you…okay?"

I cannot look at him, merely standing there by the table, eyes fixed onto its polished garnet surface. A clench of nails against fist. Blood trickles from between my fingers. Teeth dig violently, helplessly into the flesh of my lips.

Even now…even now, I am pushing away the pain.

Akatsuki turns. "You really do still love her…_ne_, Hanabusa?" he throws over his shoulder, gaze now meeting mine—eyes rueful. "Enough to court Kaname-sama's wrath? Even though you know…"

The wine glass splinters—dark, fluid wine now crystallizing into crimson shreds of frozen serration that fall down to the table in thousands of shards, settling into soft crimson ash. Blood pounds through my veins. A numbing sensation begins to envelop my limbs.

"Leave, Akatsuki," I whisper.

My cousin's eyes cloud over slightly, but he does not speak, turning on his heel and striding briskly away. The doors close. I am left alone.

And even now, I cannot allow myself to yield to temptation and so allow this agonized despair to overcome me completely as I so wish it to. My duty forbids me this. I have…someone to protect.

Someone more precious to me than all form of life and existence itself.

My princess. My sweet, beautiful angel. Kuran Yuuki.

* * *


	2. Intimacy

The mansion is quiet now—the only sounds being the faint ticking of the great clock by the spacious living room. I walk these cool, dark spaces with a muted sense of fondness, knowing where my feet automatically are taking me, surveying my surroundings now with a gentler eye. Each corridor, each hallway, each room too perhaps…they each hold a memory for me, no matter how trivial. A memory with my Yuuki.

What once would have been the stately, palatial residence of two of the most powerful purebloods in the vampiric world is, now, to me…home.

Kaname-sama had formerly not made use of this residence—more so because of its secluded location, but when he, along with Yuuki, had departed from Kurosu Gakuen upon Kuran Rido's death and defeat, it had been to this mansion, located in a nameless land, an undisclosed territory under the Kuran name, where they had sought refuge. After several months of searching…I had finally found them.

Upon Yuuki's insistence…Akatsuki, Ruka and I stayed.

While Kaname-sama's presence reminded us constantly of our place—heightened somewhat because of his overly protective nature whenever it came to his younger sister and lover's safety—it was Yuuki who was ultimately to break these boundaries between us, insisting that while away from the brutal eyes of society, she be treated the same as everyone else.

Before long, we were all dining at the same table, eating meals prepared—despite Kaname-sama's protests—'lovingly' by Yuuki's hands.

Soon, Ruka began to help as well—lending some level of edibility to what would otherwise have resulted in the great kitchens reducing to a burnt, smoking wreck under the Kuran princess's near-reckless, at times terrifying, yet endearing desire to please.

It was at this time too, that Akatsuki was to confess his love for Ruka. While she acted perfectly innocent—though her gleeful delight upon hearing the news was sincere, heartfelt, almost childlike—I suspected Yuuki's hand behind this occurrence. Even Kaname-sama had given them his blessing, with an air of a benevolent despot, and not a little relief as well for finally being relieved of Ruka's unwelcome attentions.

The hallways I walk now hold a soft, subtle scent that taunts my senses even despite the sheer, comforting familiarity of it all. I follow it blindly, feeling my limbs carry me unconsciously towards those chambers I know remain forbidden to me…and yet, which I know hold for me, the only true happiness I have ever known.

I knock respectfully, even though she and I both know that I have no need to. She has no need to call out her "Come in!" as I so wish her to—longing to bask in the sweet ringing melody of her voice—deepened, rawer, darker, sensual now with the imminence of womanhood. She merely tugs at my consciousness with her own, beckoning me inside.

And when I do so, my breath catches at the sight I see.

My dark-haired, fey-eyed pureblood princess stands by the window—frame illuminated by the numinous silver moonlight, clad in no more than a silk robe the color of the very sakura petals that fall in the wintry moonlight that makes her skin, already holding the pale sheen of porcelain, to gleam as that of an angel—pure, white, flawless. The rippling shadows of the falling sakura petals outside the window flutter by her face—that face…that face I long not to turn towards me, for fear of losing myself.

Her long, heavy hair is loosened and lies in skeins of jet-black to her waist, face turned up towards the snow-paled skies, towards the sakura petals caught in the moonlight—an expression of the purest, untainted wonder in her eyes, lips parted, her stance holding the simple, wondrous fascination of a child.

I feel my heart pound—knowing, remembering the words I had so spoken all those years ago to Akatsuki, confessing my love for her…knowing them, acknowledging them—knowing no other truth more inherent in its veracity.

_Only a god could be capable of such perfection._

Kuran Yuuki. My love, my life, my haven, my joys, my sorrows, the source of the greatest joys and the darkest griefs…the one true reason I could ever hope to claim some happiness in this life as my own. She sits there now, knowing nothing…knowing nothing of the music she causes within my soul, as now I stand before her—a subject before a remote, beautiful queen.

The room is dark, despite the large windows gleaming palely in the incandescent streams of moonlight turning it into a play of shadow and light. I fear to move too quickly, afraid that my movements would cause a terrible vibration that would ultimately have a sight of such serenity to spiral down to meaningless chaos. The bed is covered with furs and throws, flung aside now to reveal dark silk sheets; the room holds a seamless elegance to it that so characterizes the Kuran purebloods who share it.

A quiver of trembling agony. _No…not now…not now, please…now is not the time…_

The Kuran princess turns towards me, lips parting in a smile that reaches her eyes so effortlessly it makes tears prick within my own. "Aido-senpai!" Her delight is unforced—the simple, irrepressible contentment of one untainted by the darkness that so characterizes the life of a vampire.

My heart clenches at the intensity of emotion surging through my veins now—feeling suddenly as though I had suddenly consumed far too much wine, a heady thrill exploding in my chest, a slow, torrid fire burn torturously, pleasurably within my belly. Agonized ecstasy. Tightly reigned control wavering beneath the pressure of desire—my senses reeling as they lie, overwhelmed with her, with _her_…with Yuuki. Yuuki. _Yuuki._

My beautiful, flawless, enchanting, mesmerizing Kuran princess.

"Kaname-oniisama allowed you to stay back another time, _ne_, Aido-senpai? Thank goodness Kain-senpai was allowed to accompany him! He can visit his _ojiisan_ now, _ne?" _A wave of tenderness. Even now, she always…_always_ puts others before herself.

"Y-yes…Yuuki-sama," I mumble like a foolish lad, overwhelmed so irrevocably that all now I am reduced to before her is to lose all former charming eloquence to the obsequious murmurs of a slave.

A slave, who had made the mistake of losing his heart to his mistress. The reason for his life. The queen of his soul.

She extends a swan-pale arm, drawing me closer.

I near her daringly, feeling my knees buckle and weaken, feeling as though everything within me is melting into a hot puddle, softening and dissipating away into a boneless, throbbing mass—melting like snow before the sun. I cannot tear my eyes away from her face…those features so fine, so exquisite that they appear to be painted, those eyes a blend of ebony and scarlet—so wide, so doe-like, slanting slightly at the edges, almost too large for her face, framed with dark, curling lashes, eyes that look as though they could fill with tears any moment, but which now are alight with laughter…those lips—full and dark with suffused blood, parted now, speaking to me…to _me…_

"Aido-senpai,_ mitte! _Is this not the most beautiful sight you could ever have seen?"

Her scent is that of wild flowers and morning wind, of the silver rains of dawn and an ocean's tears. It brings to my mind thoughts of spring and flowers, of laughter and joy, of green-gold fields beneath cold mountain springs…of stars alighting atop a snowy mountain, of moonlight rippling upon the cold waters of a dark brook, of the song of woodland wind among forest leaves—a harmony at once heartbreaking in its poignancy, and yet so…beautiful… "I know of a sight far more beautiful, Yuuki-sama," I murmur. _And how can I speak to you of her? She, whom you would look upon in the mirror each day?_She turns to me, an expression of such pure surprise on her face that it causes my heart to melt. "And what is that, Aido-senpai?" Yuuki asks me, head titled endearingly to the side.

A shudder of vulnerability quivers through me. Somehow…somehow, I understand now why Kaname-sama is so murderously protective of her. Somehow, I understand now the extent of the pureblood lord's, as well as Kiryuu Zero's—as well as my own—obsession with her.

And when I cannot answer—reduced once more to a speechless hollow—a tiny frown catches between her perfectly symmetrical brows, creasing the fine porcelain of her forehead. "Aido-senpai…is something wrong?"

It takes all the strength of my neck muscles to prevent myself from looking at her with the desperation her nearness so causes me. "Why…why do you ask…Yuuki-sama?"

Her head bows slightly—the frown deepening by an inch, and I clench my fists, fighting back the urge to lunge forward and clasp her to myself. "You're…you're always doing that," Yuuki murmurs, face falling slightly. Something with me howls in despair at the slight hurt on her face. "Even…even though you know I hate it when you do so!"

Terror fills me. "What is it, Yuuki-sama?" I cry, nearing her—steeling my arms stiffly against my sides to prevent them from lunging forward. "Tell me—tell me anything…_anything_ and I will do it for you-" I bite my lip, flushing at my impulsiveness, gaze dropping to the delicate white feet my eyes espy, protruding slightly from beneath the hem of the robe.

Throat suddenly as dry as a desert, I swallow—unable to tear my eyes away. How could…how could somebody's _toes_ be so…so lovely? So fine…so…so _dainty?  
_  
Mortification gripping my gut, I gulped once more—awaiting my punishment. "What…what do you so wish me not to do, Yuuki-sama?" I whisper, eyes fixed—terrified—onto her own, fighting the urge to so lose myself in those wine-dark depths. "Tell me…please, please tell me-"

She gazes at me reproachfully, those dark eyes holding the reproving austerity of an infant. Slowly, they soften—sending a fire through every vein in my body, leaving me breathless. With a single glance…she can break me.

Her voice, when she speaks, is soft. "Was Kaname-oniisama very harsh to you, Aido-senpai?" Yuuki nears me, hand reaching to cup my cheek.

I feel a jolt of silken electricity strike me where she so touches me—an unconscious whimper of pleasure stealing past my lips, leaning unknowingly into the touch, drawing warmth from her palm. "Did he speak cruelly to you?" She nears me, those eyes darkening, deepening…until they are all I can see. I feel as though I am drowning. "I…I know that he may speak very callously, and may completely disregard your feelings…but he only does it to protect me, Aido-senpai-" the hand leaves my cheek to rest at my shoulder. "I…I myself asked if you could stay back to accompany me another time."

Her gaze falls from mine, and it is only the frenzied rush of senses spiralling in an invigorating haze through me at her words that causes me to almost miss the hint of a blush along her pale, sculpted cheeks. "Kaname…" Those eyes raise once more. "Surely, Aido-senpai, you must know how jealous a lover he is?"

I feel something like a vice beginning to grip my throat—at once at her choice of her words…at once at her perceptiveness. Along with my cousin, Akatsuki…Yuuki is the only one to know me so well. "I know," I whisper, voice choked, spoken only through a laborious effort. "I…I know." Somehow…somehow, I force myself to smile. "Surely the number of times you have witnessed him strike me in our academy days should be enough for me to remember that enough…_ne,_ Yuuki-sama?"

She laughs—that sweet, dark melody of wind-chimes, of wind rustling through autumn leaves and of mountain springs over the darkest river stones—a music that warms my heart and renders any pain I might feel as irrelevant, meaningless. "I hope…I hope you don't mind staying back with me another time, Aido-senpai…"

Don't…mind? Don't _mind?_ "Of…of course not!" the words escaped me in a blinding rush, without control—an ardorous vehemence filling my voice. "I…I long for no more than to be by your side, Yuuki-ch…sama…" A sudden, nameless horror grips me—hand flying to my throat, cursing my reckless words—

—when my hands are caught within her own, warm, silken hands which can soothe away the pain as surely as does the heat that begins to rise along my neck at her nearing me, those eyes dark, depthless—drawing me into that dark crimson and allowing no release…"You're always doing that…" her voice is at once filled with sadness and tenderness. "Please…please don't be so formal with me, Aido-senpai. It…it makes me feel very lonely."

A memory. Kaname-sama cupping her cheek tenderly in his white palm, eyes dark, desirous, filled with muted, hollow grief, and yet warm with tenderness. _Please don't be so formal with me, Yuuki…it makes me feel lonely._ "Forgive me…Yuuki-ch…chan," I murmur, holding her hands within my own…for once, just for once, not caring of what may happen to me were I to do so. "I…I'm…I…forgive me…" _Forgive me…forgive me for loving you. Forgive me for forgetting so easily how you see me. Forgive me for…for making you feel lonely. _"But…but Kaname-sama…"

"Kaname-oniisama would not disapprove of our friendship, Aido-senpai," Yuuki speaks earnestly—tightening her grip in my hands, her intimacy holding the innocence of a child. "And…and I am always so lonely whenever he leaves me…" she looks away, a shadow passing her lovely face. "Kain-senpai is awfully ever so quiet whenever he stays behind! I'm sure he is nervous about his engagement to Ruka-chan, _ne? _I try so hard to speak to him about it…we are _both _engaged to the ones we love…" I turn my eyes away from her. "And he only sits by the living-room and reads and reads and reads…I feel so awfully bored…"

Her next words tear my eyes away from the floor to her own. Her smile returns…and with it, it's magic.

"But when you stay with me…I…I don't feel lonely anymore. I…I think you're a true friend to me, Aido-senpai."

A bittersweet ache floods my chest—throbbing, pounding, pulsating against my soul. _And_ _I am to remain no more to you. I may love you with all my soul…and yet, I am to remain no more to you. _

But even with this…even with this…if it allows me to remain by her side, I am content. "Don't."

"Don't what, Aido-senpai?"

"_Don't…_"

"Aido-senpai, is something wrong? Are you hungry?"

Something within me twitches at the slight irony of her words. "Don't…call me that."

Her brow wrinkles once more in confusion. "Don't call you what, Aido-senpai?"

I squint peevishly at her, knowing that she will be completely unruffled by my doing so, knowing how easily she has forgotten. It remains, this endearing human trait of hers…her tendency to forget so easily. "I told you not to call me that…_"_Aido-senpai, you are so confusing!" She stamps her foot in a fit of childish impatience. "Don't call you what?"

"

I let out a long breath, folding my arms flatly over my chest. "Senpai," I inform her. "You don't…you don't have to call me _senpai_, Yuuki-chan."

The Kuran princess's eyes widen momentarily, and she relaxes once more. "Oh. That."

Seeing my hurt expression, she begins to flap her palms up and down, attempting to placate me. "Well, I'll just call you Aido-san then, _ne, _Aido-senpai?" she smiles at me, even though a hint of confusion lingers in her dark eyes.

I glower at her, expression like a thundercloud.

Yuuki bites her lip, jumping slightly on the balls of her feet, wondering how best to answer me. "Then…then what about…Aido-kun?" She gives me a winning smile.

I fold my arms a little tighter, shaking my head firmly.

"Then…oh, dear…you want me to call you only Aido? Oh, no, Aido-senpai, I would not like that…I would not like that at all-"

"Hanabusa."

"-makes you sound like a complete stranger! And…and…Aido-san makes you sound so…so very _old_-_"_"Hanabusa."

"-almost like a grandfather! And when I call you Aido-kun it makes you sound so much younger than me…even though you might be just…a little older, _ne,_ Aido-senpai? Just a little bit older? How old are you Aido-senpai?"

"_Hanabusa._"

"-was telling me you were only three hundred and fifty thr…eh? What was that Aido-senpai?"

I sigh. "How about just calling me Hanabusa…Yuuki-chan?" I suggest patiently, squeezing her palm in my own. A reassurance. It is a repeated ritual—this insistence of no honorifics when addressing one another…one we go through each time I remain back to stay by her side. But still a reassurance.

Her brow wrinkles, eyes gazing at me uncertainly. What now I ask of her…it is a familiarity allowed only between those of intimate relation. A declaration of absolute, unequivocal trust. "Hana…busa?"

Something stirs in my heart. "Yes…Yuuki-chan."

She smiles at me. "Now I feel as though we were back in Kurosu Gakuen, Aido-sen…Hanabusa," her tongue falters slightly. I feel my chest flood with tenderness. "Can we…can we stay like this? Can you just…call me Yuuki-chan now?"

I smirk slightly. "Now what, Yuuki-chan?"

Yuuki pouts at me. "Can just call me Yuuki-chan now…Hanabusa?"

"Of course, Yuuki-sam…" I grin, backing away with raised palms as she raises a tiny, threatening fist. "Of course…Yuuki-chan."

I depart then, making my way down to the kitchen to complete a task I know she will pout and squeal like an annoyed child for knowing I am doing—but which will ultimately dissolve into a smile of the purest happiness, and repeated declarations of "Aido-senpai, this is _so_ delicious!" Sometimes, if I am lucky, she will throw her arms around my neck in an embrace. An action she would never formerly have done so in Kurosu Gakuen.

I know how she clings to me. I know how she clings to my repeated assurances of companionship, of loyalty, with the desperation of a drowning man clutching to a plank that would save him from sinking into the depths of his own despair. I know of the loneliness of her life as a Kuran pureblood—a life where her lover was forced to remain away from her side so as to fulfil a duty he would not otherwise have chosen.

I know of how she craves for a friend, for companionship in a dark, lonely world, for a hand to grasp when there is none, for a sole friend among a sea of foes.

I know, I understand now why the several nights my beautiful Kuran princess had lain, weeping softly—mourning the loss of Kiryuu Zero in her life.

And yet, somehow…to know that while I can never replace the silver-haired hunter in my princess's heart, to know that she still holds me with some kind of regard…it warms me. Suddenly…suddenly, it feels easier to breathe.

I have not to wait for long, sitting by a table before a tray of food I know suits to her liking—something at once simple, and yet finely cooked, leaning more towards the sweeter side, her preference perhaps the simplest of all purebloods, whose refined tastes in earthly food have long remained a source of frenzy in the royal kitchens.

The many years that we have all lived together in the Kuran mansion have had me sharing a level of unacknowledged intimacy with her that I know not of her knowing. Of these, I took pleasure in knowing that it was by _my_ hand that I could bring forth that smile on my pureblood princess's face.

It surprised me somehow—having lived the life of one spoiled to death by overindulgent parents, and never having had to complete a chore in my life…now finding myself wanting to _cook._ To _cook_ of all the things. To fuss over my dark-eyed Kuran princess like a mother hen. To know that somehow, much like her brother…I am the only one to truly understand their lonely melancholy.

But while I would have completed the task with equal alacrity for both purebloods…only for Yuuki, it is a guilty pleasure I know I have no right to claim. Only for Yuuki, I linger yet a moment longer to make sure her _miso _soup is at the perfect heat. Only for Yuuki, I fuss over endlessly over how perfectly the roast fish has been scaled. Only for Yuuki, do my fingers unconsciously caress the chopsticks as I lay them beside the bowl.

I sense her presence now, and do not turn—speaking to her over my shoulder. "Ah, Yuuki-chan…you've come." My voice does not betray the joy flaring in my chest at feeling her presence against my own. I take to my feet, straightening my sweater while doing so, turning towards her. "I hope this suits your ta…" my voice dies away.

She stands now in a pair of…_human_ clothes—an old, baggy sweatshirt the color of Shoutaro-ojiisama's hair, and blue sweatpants faded to the point of appearing _grey_, tiny feet clad in socks in a pattern of winged puppies—_puppies _of all the things!—hair pulled back into a messy pony-tail. Her eyes are no longer shadowed and glimmering faintly against the lack of light, but gleam like onyxes against the alabaster of her skin, each individual dark lash gleaming like dark wings against the snow-pale of her cheeks.

Even dressed like a beggar—a _human_ beggar, of all things…she stands as a queen.

I reel, a breathless ecstasy exploding in my heart.

When had she grown so…_beautiful?_ When had her features lost their childish innocence and grown so…so exquisite, so impossibly _beautiful_, so as to reduce all who saw her to mere speechlessness? Did she…did she live? Would she crumble to fine nothingness were I to brush her with the slightest touch of my fingers? Was she…was she a live being, of flesh and blood and bone and breath? Was she not an angel, an otherworldly being sent to torment me, hurting me so deeply with every word, every motion she flung so carelessly, so unintentionally?

I blink, bowing my head down slightly, senses still continuing to reel and buckle against the sheer proximity of her scent, her taste—so sweet, so _powerful_ that it slices like a knife blade across my face—searing white-hot…infinitely blissful.

The Kuran princess walks towards me, her walk the regal glide of a pureblood—yet still holding the faintest vestiges of that frisky trot I had known to be hers and only hers all those years ago. "Aido-senpai, you've cooked me dinner?" Yuuki asks me, eyes so wide, so dark with wonder that my heart melts, heat pooling in my groin. Her smile this time is slower, gentler—true fondness glimmering in those eyes. She reaches forward and cups my cheek in her palm. "Thank you."

I fight to keep myself from clasping that silken warmth in my own, reverting back to the old, arrogant _Aido-senpai _she so knows and…I can only hope, loves somehow—that pretentious, self-centred fool I know makes her laugh and causes her to smile, even despite whatever pain and loneliness her life as a Kuran pureblood so sees fit to have her suffer. Strange as it seems that in our days at Kurosu Gakuen, I would always call her _Yuuki-chan_ and use every opportunity to annoy her—now, it is only with her approval that I do so.

It comforts her.

And so…I would gladly make a jester of myself, I would gladly lose all thoughts of pride, of honor, of dignity so associated with serving a pureblood. I would be her friend. No more. "What is _this?"_ I demand of her, waving a hand up and down, indicating her clothing. "What is this, eh? Dressing like a beggar? And a HUMAN beggar, at that? You'd better make sure Kaname-sama doesn't see you in that!"

She pouts, folding her arms over her chest. "But these are much more comfortable, Aido-senpai! And Kaname-oniisama has already seen me wearing _human_ clothes! He approves!"

"Dear gods," I grumble, pinching the bridge of my nose. "To think that you are the youngest of the Kuran heirs, Yuuki-chan…you might as well attend the next soiree at the Shirabukis' in your slippers and bathrobe…" _And you'd still look beautiful, no matter what. Gods, you could go in a potato sack and you'd still look beautiful. _

"Wha…Aido-senpai! You're one to talk…I've seen you in that pink jumper of yours so many times I've lost count-"

"Tha…that doesn't count, it's _handmade!_ Rukaknitted it for me!"

"_Eh?_ Aido-senpai, Ruka-chan knitted it…for _you?"_

I cringe inwardly—knowing that Ruka, with her heightened perceptiveness at any actions concerning me and Akatsuki, would inevitably discover her secret being blurted out, and would now probably be devising ways of making me beg for death. "Well, she'd originally made it for Kaname-sama…"

"EHH? She made it for…for _Kaname-oniisama? _But…but…but, Aido-senpai, Kaname-oniisama hates pink!_"_

"Well, she'd originally intended to make it black…or blue…or something…but it looked like pink was the only one left…you must know then…he took one look at it and…well…"

A fervent sigh of relief, followed by a wide, mischievous grin. "Then, Aido-senpai, you must have claimed it for yourself, _ne?"_

"Why, I…gods above, NO! Yu…Yuuki-chan! As if I'd ever take anything from _Ruka!"_

"Aww, Aido-senpai—you're not cute at all…could it be you had just a _teensy_ bit of a crush on Ruka-chan? Just a _teensy_ bit?"

I mimic the actions of one caught in a convulsed fit of vomiting. "Yuuki-chan? Do me a favour and never speak of such a catastrophe again. Please?"

"Tch! You're kidding nobody, Aido-senpai."

I sigh, shaking my head. "Your opinion of me breaks my heart, Yuuki-chan."

"Really? And what would that be?"

"You obviously think of me as disturbed in the head…which would be the only thing that could ever inspire me to have even a _teensy _bit of a crush on Ruka-_chan_-"

"Wha…AIDO-SENPAI, that's so MEAN!"

"-probably think me as masochistic too…do you know what Akatsuki would have done to me if he found out I liked _Ruka? _I'd wake up every morning to see my boxers frying over the stove-"

"…Kain-senpai…boxers…AIDO-SENPAI! I'm still an innocent girl!"

"And you're doing _it_ again," I inform her haughtily, sticking my nose into the air. "Even though you know I hate it when you do so!"

She chuckles—once the high-pitched giggle of a girl, now the deep, full-throated laugh of a woman. "Forgive me then, Aido-sen…" she ducks, grinning unabashedly at the look of pure outrage I throw at her. "Fine then! I'm sorry, Hanabusa."

Ah, the sheer, inexplicable joy that flares to my life at that simple word…"Hmm," I gaze down imperiously at her, folding my arms around my chest. "I'll forgive you this time, Yuuki-chan. But don't think you're getting away so easily."

Her eyes widen, jaw falling open in protest. "Ehhh? But, Aido-sen…Hanabusa, you said…you said…you _said!"  
_  
I grin wickedly, brows furrowing comically, rubbing my hands together in a droll imitation of how once I had shown her I saw Kaname-sama conspiring to destroy the new Council as well. She had burst into a paroxysm of giggles every time she saw her lover after that, and it was only after a nerve-wracking, extremely awkward interrogation that I had suffered beneath the all-seeing eyes of the pureblood lord that I was able to explain…_somehow_ to the Kuran princess that taking my jokes that seriously wasn't the best thing. "Oh, I'm not sure, Yuuki-chan," I leer at her. "I know a few ways you can be…punished."

"But why, Ai…Hanabusa?" Yuuki demands. "Is it only because I called you _Aido-senpai_ so many times? It's only fair—you call me _Yuuki-sama_ all the time!"

"And what's so wrong about that, hmm? Aren't I the lowly noble and you the pureblood princess? A little respect never hurt anybody, did it, Yuuki-chan?"

"Ai…Hanabusa, you know how hearing _Yuuki-sama, Yuuki-sama _all day and night makes me want to tear something out of its sockets. And one of them is your hair."

"Wha…oi, oi, Yuuki-chan! You wouldn't do _that_, would you?"

A wicked chuckle. "I know a few ways you can be…punished, Hanabusa."

A shiver tingles down my spine, heat pooling once more in my groin. Even though her words are spoken with no ulterior motive…she will never know how they arouse me, how…how torturously _erotic _they sound, falling from those untainted lips. "And what would those be…Yuuki-chan?" I murmur, surprised at how breathless I am, voice deliberately low and seductive.

The Kuran princess sticks her tongue out at me. "I'll tell Ruka-chan you have a crush on her," she informs me simply.

"Wha—_Yuuki-chan!_ I'd rather get slapped by Kaname-sama…or you, for that matter!"

"But you look cute in pink, Hanabusa," Yuuki looks up at me with wide, dark eyes that resemble pools of melted dark chocolate. "You should wear that sweater of yours more often."

I gaze after her, jaw hanging open as she pads over to the great table where the residents of the Kuran mansion eat our meals—shaking my head slightly, a pleasing sort of sickness beginning to creep in a slow, languorous vein throughout my body. My head reels at this inexplicable _joy_ she can so arouse within me with but a few moments of light-hearted bantering.

"Aido-sen…eh…Hanabusa! Come sit with me!" The clack of chopsticks together is her impatience, the tap of her foot to the floor is her anticipation. Already, my senses are lunging, charging, craving for her…for her taste, for her sight, for her voice, for her scent, for her touch…for her.

And so, with an over-exaggerated "Yes, ma'am…" I trudge over to her in a show of boredom—while otherwise, all my senses long no more than to run to her like a child and melt into her embrace.

* * *


	3. Trust

She sits, perched up with her knees on the stately chairs by the garnet-brown wood of the table, her meal untouched, clacking her chopsticks against each other in a manner as mildly irritating as it is charming. I watch her—confusedly, impatiently, irately, tenderly…loving her, _loving_ her…. "Come sit me, Hanabusa," Yuuki beckons me closer in a businesslike manner, motioning me closer with the chopsticks. "I feel lonely if I eat alone."

I roll my eyes hugely, while inwardly I know that they would have—humiliatingly—been prickling with adoring tears. "Chicken," I mutter, half beneath my breath.

"Pretty boy."

"Baby."

"Aido-senpai."

"Hey!"

She chuckles, poking me gently with the chopsticks. "At least I'm not calling you _Hana-chan_…Hanabusa."

I redden furiously, leaping to my feet, infuriated. "It was Akatsuki, wasn't it?" I demand of her, half-shouting, beginning to leap up and down on my feet like a petulant infant. "Or was it Ruka? Which one was it, Yuuki-chan? Which one told you? I won't leave them this time! I'll freeze their wedding clothes! I'll freeze their wine! I'll freeze their bed on their wedding night! I'll freeze-"

Yuuki smiles. "Oh, it wasn't Kain-senpai, Hanabusa. Nor Ruka-chan. You're an open book to me. It wasn't that hard to figure out your um…penchant for nicknames." Her smile turns into a wide grin—a memory I know from our days at Kurosu Gakuen, when shouts of "Idol-senpai! Idol-senpai!" were perhaps the most commonly heard.

But I hear none of this. I understand none of this—all that resound now in my ears is her words. _You're an open book to me. You're an open book to me. An open book. An. Open. Book. To. Me. _

Something twists in my chest, a humourless smile tugging at my lips at the irony of her words; I cannot help but look at her, scouring that face, those eyes for something, _anything_ that could hint that she knows…that she knows of what I feel for her, that she knows of how I love her, of how I long for her, of how I would gladly die a coward's death were it to make her smile, of how I would gladly tear off my limbs, mutilate my flesh, relinquish my soul only for her—only for her happiness…I see nothing. She may know my deepest secrets…and yet, this…_this_ she will never know. She must never know.

It takes all my strength not to clasp my chest now, at the icy, spear-like sensation spreading a deadly vein through my body now, numbing my limbs. "Eat your food, it's getting cold," I flap a palm at her—the concentrated effort at keeping my voice indifferent, impatient causes a fine strain of tension to crack through. My hand, when I lay it down upon the table, trembles.

She grumbles good-naturedly, but complies—digging neatly into the roast fish and scooping out a bit of meat onto the chopsticks, a moist pink tongue reaching out and licking it to test its heat before small white teeth close over it, jaw beginning to work. Her eyes close in contentment. "You must definitely teach me how to cook one day, Hanabusa," Yuuki declares—eyes still closed as she chews her meal. "Definitely."

"Don't lean back on your chair so much—you'll choke."

"-and one day, maybe I'll cook some roast fish for you too, _ne?" _

My heart warms with tenderness. "Your _miso _soup is getting cold."

"-expect me to cook for the entire household! That'd be wonderful, _ne_, Hanabusa?"

"Don't put your chopsticks on the table, young lady—what's happening to your manners these days?"

"-and cook for Kaname-oniisama and feed him by my hand…"

"Don't talk with your mouth fu…" my voice dies away in my throat. I cannot speak to this, cannot find within myself the strength to put words to the sudden distressed longing that trembles within my chest. _Always _him—the bitter anguish echoes hollowly within me. _Always…always _him.

The silence that follows then makes me look up to her—only to find her eyes fixed upon me, chopsticks only halfway to a half-open mouth, those eyes holding an expression in them at once lost, sad, yearning, caught between longing and confusion.

I draw in a breath, forcing my eyes away from the soft tremble upon her lips my own so long to kiss away. "What is it, Yuuki-chan?" I ask gently.

She sets down the chopsticks onto the tray, nearing me—hands falling to the sides of my face, the hot curl of her breath against my flesh causing a quiver of arousal to flow as a hot river through my veins. Those eyes are dark, endless when they look into my own…scarlet ebony against blue, making me drown into them. "I…I…for a moment, I felt…I felt like…as though…as though…" Her eyes are filled now with sudden tears.

I grasp her hands softly within my own, heart swelling with all the love and concern I hold for her, drawing her closer—steeling my senses against drowning into her nearness, now longing no more than to comfort her. "What is it, Yuuki-chan?" I repeat, keeping my voice as soft as I can, murmuring the words and feeling my breath moisten her skin.

Her eyes are dazed, filled with tears. "I…I…you…for a moment, I…I felt like I…like I…" She turns away from me, squeezing her eyes shut. A tear trickles down a pale cheek, a rivulet of solitary sadness. "Hanabusa…" Her voice is a lost, broken whisper. "I…Hanabusa, I…I thought…"

"You thought what?" I ask softly, cupping her cheek daringly into my palm—hoping, praying that she sees my touch to be no more than the caring touch of a friend…no more. "You thought what, Yuuki-chan?"

A deep, shuddering breath, chest heaving beneath the force of suppressed grief. Those eyes turn towards me once more—swimming with tears, glimmering with light. "I thought for a moment…that I…that I was back…back in Kurosu Gakuen," Yuuki whispers, a soft, sad smile of melancholy playing along her lips. "I thought I…I was back in my old home…with…with the Chairman and…and…"

I do not speak, allowing her the time to breathe, to stem the pain rising in her chest as slowly, as inexorably as it does in mine to see her in pain—merely holding her, lending her all the warmth I can. It is a few moments until she looks up at me again, cheeks stained with tears—a broken smile on her face.

"I thought…I thought that I was with Zero again."

My chest constricts at the thought, and yet I continue to hold her—leaning forward until she, quite unexpectedly, snuggles closer, burying her head into my chest.

I pause for a moment—stunned, but then close my arms around her, rocking her gently, murmuring soft words of comfort into the dark veil of her hair, stroking it when she begins to weep silently, tears warming the front of my sweater. It fires through my veins—a dark thrill at how now _I_ have replaced Kaname-sama in place of her comforter, _I _now hold her in my arms, _I _who now presses my lips to her brow in a soft, comforting motion—wanting no more than to hold her, to love her, to know that no matter what travesty of existence may cause her to hate me, to fear me, to be repulsed from me…I would still love her as I so did now—every breath, every heartbeat echoing to the sweet resonance of her name…Yuuki. _Yuuki._

Even now, as I hold her, a sad, helpless smile plays at my lips. Even now…after all these years, she still so has the power to bring me, Aido Hanabusa, to my knees. Even now, even despite our nearness, even despite this…this—I dare call it an intimacy…she is still my queen—a being far too precious, far too fragile and beautiful and delicate and breakable for me to claim upon as I so do wish.

"Hanabusa?"

The whisper is a soft mumble against my chest—I look down at her, to find myself gazing into endless swimming orbs of ebony with those shadows of wine-scarlet, filled now with tears, depthless pools of the truest, simplest beauty I have ever known. "What is it, Yuuki-chan?" I whisper, cupping my hand over her cheek. Surely…surely her grief can warrant such closeness? Surely…surely, she longed for such attentions from me? In a rare moment of daring, I lean forward until the warm silk of her forehead rests against my own.

Yuuki's eyes flutter closed—a soft sigh of breath, of relief, of warmth somehow with our nearness. She is silent, saying nothing, merely rocking back and forth in my arms.

A sob still clings to her quivering voice, when she speaks.

"Do you think…do you think Zero truly despises me, Hanabusa?"

It takes all the strength in the world for me not to howl in despair at her words. _How could…how could _anyone_ despise you, Yuuki? _I want to scream, I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her—anything…_anything_ to rid her mind of such baseless fears…even were I to lose her by doing so…"No," I whisper raggedly, tightening my arms around her. "No. _Never."_

The sheer vehemence to my tone, the uncontrolled ferocity in my voice makes those eyes widen—but she does not let go. Spurred, I continue to speak—fearing that I will lose the strength my anger brings to my voice to the bleak hollowness in my heart at the words I now must say…but speaking, all the same. "Kiryuu Zero would never…_ever_ hate you—he…he _could_ never, Yuuki-chan. He…he loved you so…so deeply. He would die for you without a moment's hesitation were you merely to will it…" _Just like me…just…just like me…_

"Don't lie to me." She pulls away completely from my arms, eyes shadowed, mouth trembling—unable to sense the flash of hurt that blazes into my chest. "If he…if he loved me…if he loved me…then…then…" Yuuki lunges forward towards me once more, grabbing fistfuls of my sweater, her eyes wide, stricken. "If he loved me, then why did he say such terrible things?" Her voice is high, shrill, panicked—a mere ruction away from an agonized scream. "Why, Hanabusa? Why? _Why? _Why did he leave my side? Even when I made him promise me he would never leave? Why? Why did he—_mmf_-"

Her voice is muffled now. I myself know not what has so possessed me this moment…and yet, and yet knowing…knowing that this—_this_…this is what I have longed for so deeply…for so, so long. Some part of my mind mocks my cowardice, knowing that it is only when I am no longer fully in control of my senses that I can so fulfil my heart.

For it had not been rational thought that had so caused me to reach out and pull her into my arms, into my embrace, and merely hold her…_hold her_, as though I would never let go. It had not been a desire to overcome that craven darkness of my nature which so held me back from confessing to her the strength of emotion she stirred within me. It had not even been bloodlust—an attribute so deep-seated in a vampire's nature…and yet forgotten when it came to her. To Yuuki.

She feels so warm, so pliant and breakable in my arms…as though she would snap in two were I merely to tighten my embrace by an inch. My heart quivers when I feel her arms curl softly over my back, her stunned whisper trembling against the air.

"Hana…busa?"

Even that ever-present, irrational _fear_ in my mind that so caused me to honor Kaname-sama's words faded away to a forgotten whisper at the swirling, dizzying rush of love and pain and grief and tenderness flaring within my heart. Even now…even now, every thought, every desire, every intermittent flare of yearning colouring her aura…they all remain eclipsed by thoughts of _him. _Kiryuu Zero_. _Of _him_…and Kaname-sama.

As mine so do remain with her.

"Ha…Hanabusa? I…I can't breathe…"

I release her as abruptly as I had seized her—holding her at arm's length, head bowed—hair, hopefully, obscuring my eyes from her. "Forgive me," I whisper, eyes fixed onto the chrome tile of the floor, fighting to control the jarring dizziness spreading a hot, languid vein through my body at the sheer _suddenness_ of it all. "I…I…" Clenching my teeth at my weakness, I raise my head, though keep my eyes lowered. "For…forgive me."

She is silent, merely continuing to stare at me with those depthless eyes—her expression at once confused, alarmed, concerned, wistful. Slowly, I raise my eyes towards her, forcing a smile onto my face. "Sh…should I make you some more _onigiri,_ Yuuki-chan?" I offer weakly, unable to think of anything else. "You…you could do with some more food-" I take to my feet, turning to leave.

Her hand closes over mine, halting all motion.

I gaze down at her—gaze down at those dark eyes that fix upon mine—resolute, wistful, tender, determined, feeling as though the wrist upon which her slender fingers are now closed upon will melt away as the warmth that spreads through my veins at her touch. "Hanabusa," the Kuran princess's eyes do not leave mine, and though her voice is soft, the strength of will behind them in unmistakable. "Don't…don't go."

And this time…this time, I cannot stop the tears from pricking my eyes, cannot stop the small, sad smile from spreading across my face—feeling a sudden, terrible liquid peace swell through my veins, a slow, dark joy spreading in warm tendrils throughout my body. I feel suddenly so…so _light_, so joyous…as though no amount of grief in the world could ever equate itself to the happiness she causes in my heart. "Of…of course, Yuuki-chan," I whisper, bending down before her. In a moment of daring, I rest my chin upon her knee. "Of course I…of course I won't go."

She does not speak, but the soft sigh of contentment I hear is enough for me. Her hand reaches out, unconsciously stroking the golden hair spilling across her lap, and I tremble at the touch of her soft palm over my head, letting a soft hiss of pleasure when her fingernails rake lightly over my flesh. "It seems so strange, _ne_, Hanabusa?" Yuuki speaks to me, continuing her ministrations upon my flesh, fingers tangling into my hair, making a thousand, forbidden images rise dangerously in my head—images only to be stored and retrieved with secretive pleasure in my solitude…"When we were in Kurosu Gakuen, I…I thought you hated me…"

My head snaps up so abruptly that her hand jerks away in alarm, and with it, the pleasure that only she can cause. "You thought…what?" my voice is a horrified whisper, the warmth of her request fading away into the newfound shock at her revelation. A numbing, prickling sensation spreads over my limbs like a cold wind in the rains. "You thought…you thought I…I…you thought I hated…_you?" _

She nods, her smile holding a hint of sadness. "Even now, I…even now, I fear making you hate me," Yuuki murmurs, eyes shadowed slightly. "I…I thought you would not want to stay with me. I…I…even then in Kurosu Gakuen, I thought you hated me because I…because I…"

I near her, feeling as though there was a cold blade in my heart—slowly twisting, grinding, wounding me, drawing blood, making something inside me want to scream, to weep. To say that I hated…hated _Yuuki_…was a lie so vile, so…so _loathsome _I longed no more than to raise my hand to her head and erase all her memories of what may have had her think so.

How could I hate her? How could I hate her…the only true cause of any happiness I had ever known?

How could I hate her…when I was so wildly, deeply, obsessively, irrevocably in love with her?

"Why, Yuuki-chan?" I whispered, gripping the sides of the chair in an effort to stem the grief, the shock that rises so poisonously, so inexorably in my heart that it threatens to have me lose myself all together. "Why…why did you think that I…that I…"

Even now, I cannot speak the words.

She tries to smile but cannot—a bleak tug at the lips, that is all. "Kaname-oniisama always…favoured me above the others," Yuuki whispers. "You must have hated me for it…_ne,_ Hanabusa?"

"_No!"_ I grit through my teeth, forcing myself not to yield to the tremble of grief in my voice, feeling the heat of unshed tears in my throat swell with anguish at her misunderstanding. "No, no, _never! _I…I could never…I would never…I…I…" I clench my eyes shut, feeling nails dig painfully into flesh. "I could never hate you, Yuuki-chan!"

Her lips part in a small gasp at the choked, despairing intensity of my tone, a small, stunned, "Hanabusa…" whispered through widened eyes, a body partially raised—almost as if she fears that I wound injure myself…knowing nothing…knowing nothing of how her words so unintentionally tear wounds into my flesh, wounding me. I fall to my knees once more before her, closing my arms around her legs, tipping my head to gaze up at her—knowing the stricken anguish that floods my chest my eyes can no longer hide. "How, Yuuki-chan?" I whisper, feeling as though my chest was being slowly, methodically being torn apart. "How…how could I ever hate you?"

Yuuki's eyes are full of tears now—one hand cupping my cheek, one falling to tangle into my hair. "Oh, Hanabusa…" she murmurs helplessly.

I tighten my arms over her limbs—feeling as though suddenly we were transported to that time so, so long ago in Kurosu Gakuen…when she stood before me, barefoot and in only her nightgown—attempting to escape…standing there in her lonely beauty, tears falling like liquid diamonds down her cheeks at a fate she could not escape from. "I am no longer, Kaname-sama's slave, Yuuki-chan…" I whisper, struggling not to let the emotion pooling in my chest to overcome my tongue. "He…he no longer commands my loyalty. He never will. No more. No longer."

A soft breath. "Then who will…Hanabusa?"

I straighten; loosening her limbs and striving to ignore the soft, hurt intake of breath when I do so—almost as though she longs me to hold her once more. I look at her, my beautiful Kuran princess—the lover I could never claim…the one to whom I shall be no more than a friend, a protector, a companion. "You," I say simply. "It is you…Yuuki-chan."

She is silent—but her eyes, when they look at me, speak of a thousand unknown emotions she cannot ever find it within herself to put a name to. "Truly?" The single word itself has the power to have me collapse at her feet that moment. "Do you…truly mean that, Hanabusa?"

I merely look at her—allowing for a moment the mask that so prevents her from seeing the love I hold for her in my heart break—a dark, veiled love, a secret that can only be seen through motions, gestures, through silent, longing gazes, through caresses which linger just a moment longer…"It has…only ever been you, Yuuki-chan," I whisper, eyes resting upon her face for but an instant more than necessary. "Always…always you. Only you. Forever."

And strange as it seems that as my words sound like a confession…she does not see it as I so wish her to—merely smiling at me, a small, distracted smile that holds to it a strange yearning, as though she too wishes for what could almost be. "Hanabusa?"

"Yes, Yuuki-chan?"

A sigh. "Thank you." She takes my hands in her own, squeezing them.

And this time…I do not allow my cowardice to hold me back. I raise her hands to my lips, kissing them.

We sit outside by the porch after I clear away the dishes—ignoring her loud, indignant protests at not being allowed to do it herself—watching the sakura petals mingle with the falling snow. It is a beautiful night—the moonlit snow descending silently to the ground, dewdrops already glistening against the ground like diamonds—like unshed tears, the moon full, shimmering white radiance.

Somehow, this beauty seems somehow…diminished. What purity can I so see in the snow, when it holds naught to that of my princess's countenance? What fragile delicacy can I so call the sakura petals as having, when I so look upon her sitting beside me? What melody can I so hear in the ripples of the dark lake running by, when I hear her sweet, ringing laughter?

Surely…surely, it is fortunate that she does not return my love—at least…at least not as I love her. Surely, I would not have been worthy of possessing such perfection. She was a being far too precious, far too delicate and bewitching and captivating and exquisite for me to lay claim upon…fit only for the greatest sovereign, the highest king.

And I am no king.

"Hanabusa! Have you even heard a word of what I have said?"

I blink, feeling a sudden jabbing pressure against my arm where she punches me. It takes a moment for the pain to settle in. "_Itai, _Yuuki-chan!"

She sticks out her tongue at me. "Serves you right for not listening to me," Yuuki declares, sticking her nose into the air, and somehow managing to pull off a pout endearing enough to want one to smother her with kisses in the same moment.

I gaze at her wonderingly, shaking my head in disbelief, heart warming with tenderness. In moments like these, I forget her to be one of the youngest purebloods in existence—in moments like these, her womanly appearance misleads me, in moments like these, I feel like an overindulgent parent—even despite the fact that I am older than her by only a handful of years. "Why, do forgive me, your _majesty_-" I throw back at her. "I do so wonder how Kaname-sama tolerates your infantile chatter-"

Yuuki punches me as hard as she can, her tiny fist causing little pain, but which warrants a yelp from me all the same. "For your information, _Aido_-_senpai_, Kaname-oniisama is perfectly attentive whenever I speak," she informs me, quite haughtily. "He…he even abandons his paperwork to listen to me sometimes!"

My head was suddenly filled with a bizarre mental image of the dark-haired pureblood lord sitting at rapt attention before her, all the world like a pompous little schoolboy—perfect with bow-tie and hat and sailor-collar.

The image of Kaname-sama combined with that of Yuuki prattling away about some nonsensical matter was far too much. Within moments, I was chuckling quietly to myself—and Yuuki, that infectious creature, was unable to control herself.

Within moments, we were both howling with laughter, clinging to each other, red-cheeked and gasping from laughing so much, breathing soon quite a laboured effort because of the sudden giggles Yuuki would burst into—soon descending us into another fit once more. It was a long while until our mirth subsided to an intermittent chuckle from me, or a soft giggle from her.  
Feeling as though the situation had lightened up enough for me to so ask her the question that had haunted me from the very moment I had lain eyes upon her…I braced myself, keeping my tone purposely light.

"_Ne,_ Yuuki-chan," I began conversationally. "Did you ever have a crush on anyone other than Kaname-sama back those days in Kurosu Gakuen?"

Yuuki lets out an outraged squeak, cheeks reddening furiously at the question. "Hanabusa!"

I grin at her. "Oh, so there WAS somebody, _ne,_ Yuuki-chan?"

"Oh…_you!_ Of course there wasn't!"

"Yeah, yeah—I'm _so_ going to believe that, Yuuki-chan…"

"Hanabusa! Oh, you are so annoying! I…I didn't like anybody else!"

"Ah…" I force the note of bitter resignation away from my voice. "So it was always…always Kaname-sama, hmm?"

Yuuki looks at me for a long moment, unknowing of how to answer me. "You speak as though there is something you are hiding from me, Hanabusa." Her voice holds a hint of slyness, as well as hurt that I had not confided in her before. "Is there something I don't know?"

Perhaps…perhaps one day, when my bones mingle with the dust in the winds, she will understand the irony of her words. "Oh, _well_…" I keep my tone mischievous. "There _could_ be something."

Her mouth falls open, eyes widening. "What is it? What is it? Tell me! Tell me, Hanabusa!"

"Oh no, Yuuki-chan…you've been a very naughty girl in Kurosu Gakuen, haven't you? Tsk tsk, I wouldn't want Kaname-sama finding out about _that…"_

"_Aido Hanabusa! You will tell me what this little piece of gossip about me is, otherwise I will-_"

"-tell on me to Kaname-sama?" I goad her mercilessly. "But then I'd have to tell _him_ about _it,_ _ne,_ Yuuki-chan?"

"HANABUSA, I SWEAR ON MY LATE PARENTS, YOU WILL DIE A THOUSAND MISERABLE DEATHS IF I DON'T…_ehhh? _What is _this?"  
_  
The photograph I dangle now before her eyes like a tasty morsel before a hungry little puppy is one taken by a Day Class female admirer—in fact, one of the girls caught at an untimely time by Yuuki herself in her days of a Kurosu Gakuen prefect, sneaking around the night in a futile attempt at securing a few pictures of the Night Class students—specifically Akatsuki and myself, then two of the more popular ones with our female fans. The two of us, along with Shiki, had been the more popular ones, because of our…_boyish_ appeal, even despite Akatsuki's manlier appearance.

It had been the time that Kaname-sama had reminded me of before his departure…the time that I, driven mad with bloodlust, had attempted to drink blood from Yuuki.

The girls had fainted upon catching sight of my fangs, but somehow or the other, one of them had managed to fall right on _top _of her camera—clicking a photograph in the process. I had missed the _click_ and flash of light in the madness brought upon by my bloodlust. Yuuki had been far too worried and struggling in my grip to have noticed. Akatsuki had been standing at a distance, and far too anxious about Kaname-sama's ubiquitous presence and his discovery of our—specifically _my­_—crime.

What now her wide, dark-eyed gaze fell upon was a perfectly formed photograph of her standing in what could almost be a lover's embrace, one of the white-clad arms of my Night Class jacket curled around her waist—holding her closely, possessively to myself—the other holding her slightly bleeding wrist, my crimson-tainted lips nearing her ear to whisper as I had done, all those years ago—_Then may I drink from your neck, Yuuki-chan?_—but in the faint light and the angle at which the photo had been inadvertently taken, it appeared more like a lover's kiss…as I probably _would_ have were Akatsuki—and later, Kiryuu Zero—not have been there.

And then, the best of it all. Her eyes—wide, dark, depthless—were fixed onto mine…head turned towards me, back arching against my curled arm in the manner of a woman reclining against her lover…expression turned shadowed in the faint light—at once terrified, at once annoyed…those eyes hiding nothing. There, gleaming as brightly as does the moon now, was the faintest glimmer of desire. Of yearning. Wild, desperate longing.

The way the image has emerged…it appears as though she yearns for me to kiss her, to claim her as my own as much as I yearn for it—as though she is leaning into my arms as much as I own tighten around her. A lover's embrace.

I had long told myself that she was only reacting to what was, by nature, a very intimate touch…that it was not any kind of desire brought about by anything she felt for _me._ It was only with the darkness of dreams where my desires—unbridled now, uncontrolled—claim her, take her, throw her onto the dark silk sheets of her bedchamber and make love to her the way I have so violently hungered for all this time…

Seiren had destroyed the camera—though I had at first demanded that I be allowed to go through all the film before she did so. Being a lower-ranked vampire to me, she had acquiesced without question—though casting me a look of marked disapproval before doing so. This one…this one had been the only one I had not asked her to destroy. This photograph, this sole photograph…it was my prized possession. It had only been the power in my veins and blood that had prevented the photograph from disintegrating.

The object of my desires now lunges forward, making a wild grab at it. I dance easily out of the way, grinning madly. "Hanabusa!" Yuuki shrieks in annoyance. "YOU…_you_…you…" unable to think of an adequate enough insult, she resorts to raining her tiny fists upon me—punching anything, everything she sees, making me laugh even harder, tears of mirth now beginning to roll down my cheeks. "Yuuki-chan, _gomen! Gomen!_ See, I told you now, didn't I? Now stop…stop tickling me!"

"Hanabusa, I swear on my late parents, if you show that photo to anybody, and I mean _anybody-"_

"Aw, come now, Yuuki-chan," I offer placatingly. "It's not like you didn't…enjoy that, _ne? _Oh…oh gods above, Yuuki-chan, stop! _Stop!_ You're killing me!"

"Oh, I do so wish I could!" Yuuki shrieks back at me, glaring furiously through the enchanting swathe of red that colours her cheeks. "I do so wish I could…I could…I…I'm…I'm…_I'm telling Ruka-chan you have a crush on her, Hanabusa!"_

I nearly break a rib from the convulsing fit of laughter that overcomes me now, making me double over onto the snowy floor of the porch—jaw beginning to ache from the uncontrollable fits of hilarity that assault me every time I lay eyes upon her fuming countenance. "Oh, Yuuki-chan…" I gasp helplessly, clutching at a stitch on my side as my mirth subsides gradually. "Yuuki-chan, you're _priceless…_"

Yuuki pouts, turning away from me. "You're mean, Hanabusa," she mumbles sullenly. "Why didn't you ever tell me about that photo?"

"Because I knew you'd try taking it away from me, Yuuki-chan," I smirk. "And judging from your reaction now…I guess it wasn't such a good idea showing it to you, was it?"

"Of course it wasn't!" Yuuki shrieks suddenly with renewed vigour, making me jump slightly with alarm. "I look so _fat!_"

This time…it is a full fifteen minutes until I can regain breath from my laughter once more. A full fifteen minutes until I can earn her forgiveness and the two of us sit together once more, watching the bright, burnished moonlight falling over the dark land in companionable silence.

This time, it is Yuuki who breaks the silence.

"You must have liked somebody in Kurosu Gakuen too, _ne,_ Hanabusa?"

I smile silently, merely gazing at her—wondering at once how somebody could be so utterly, supremely _unaware_ that the one before her slowly dies each day to see her in the arms of another…wondering at once how to answer her. "Perhaps."

"Ehhh? Who was it? Who was it, Hanabusa?"

I grin wickedly. "Ask no questions and you'll hear no lies."

"Wha…Hanabusa, that's not fair! There must have been _someone!"_

"As I said…perhaps."

"But, Hana-" her rising intonation signals the start of yet another tirade. And so, I speak the truth this time to spare her the trouble.

"What if I said it was you, Yuuki-chan?"

"-not fai…eh? What was that, Hanabusa?"

I sigh, wondering for a moment if she is truly as innocent as she seems. "What if I said…that I was in love with you, Yuuki-chan?"

The sudden soft gravity to my tone is not lost on her either.

Her gaze saddens, a dark shadow passing over it as she turns away from me, eyes lowered, lips trembling. "I can only hope that that never happens, Hanabusa," Yuuki whispers.

Agony. Cold, cruel, raw, inexplicable agony flooding my chest, pounding through vein, raging through my temples—spears of lacerating torment exploding in the pit of my skull. A humourless laugh escapes my lips—it must sound more like a hoarse, dry sob. "And why is that, Yuuki-chan?"

From where I find the strength to speak…I will never know.

She smiles sadly at me. "You are far too dear to me to ever feel such pain, Hanabusa," Yuuki says gently. "I…I would not want you to feel even a moment of grief because of me. It would hurt me as much as it does whenever Kaname-oniisama leaves me. Perhaps…perhaps even more."

The dry, humourless laugh once more. _How can you know?_ _How can you ever know? I cannot ever allow you to know…_"Do I really mean that much to you, Yuuki-chan?" I ask softly.

Yuuki leans over towards me, planting a soft kiss on my cheek. Her eyes, when they withdraw are soft with pain, and—what I can scarcely hope to believe—love. "This much, and far more, Hanabusa," she murmurs.

And for what seems to rival eternity, I merely gaze at her like a foolish lad—dazed, confused, exhilarated, terrified, overjoyed…feeling my skin warm and tingle from where her lips—softer than any sakura petal, warmer than any mantle—have touched.

The Kuran princess stands to her feet in a single, graceful motion—fingers resting, almost caressingly, upon the mop of golden curls below her, fingernails raking lightly into my flesh, making my eyes close with pleasure. She turns soon, walking towards the house behind us, turning over her shoulder to speak.

"Come inside soon, Hanabusa…you'll catch a cold."

I barely register the words, losing myself instead in the pleasant haven of her voice—feeling as though I was floating in a warm bliss which arose from her simple touch, from her simple words…feeling as though I were falling…falling into a swathe of luxurious silk and never wanting to escape. "Of course, Yuuki-chan," I murmur, eyes lingering perhaps a moment longer upon her than that considered appropriate.

She pauses suddenly, impetuously—walking towards me once more. Yuuki bends towards me, hand cupping my cheek. I lean unknowingly into her touch.

"Did you know, Hanabusa? I…I always thought you were one of the angels the Chairman would tell me stories about. No matter what you were…I always thought that somehow…somewhere, within you, it was as though you were an angel. Just…just simply good. And…and I would wish that somehow…somehow you would become my friend." She smiles wistfully. "I…I would even get a little jealous whenever the other Day Class girls would call out for you like they did, did you know? It…it wasn't like what I'd feel for Kaname-oniisama. But I…but I…" her gaze turns solemn. "I wouldn't want to share you with anyone else, Hanabusa. That's why I…that's why I…"

I wait, breathless, the joy in my heart turning now from a silent whisper to a glorious crescendo.

Yuuki swallows. "That's why I…that's why I want you to stay by my side. Always. Always, Hanabusa." Her gaze is steady, unwavering—even though there lingers in it a shyness. "Will you? Will you…always stay by my side?"

The unspoken plea in her eyes is enough. She does not even need to say the words—and yet, to hear them from her…it is enough for me.

It is…truly in moments like these that I actually believe in the power humans so foolishly place upon idols and spirits. It is...truly in moments like these...that I believe that Kuran Yuuki could come to love me…Aido Hanabusa. Not Kuran Kaname. Not Kiryuu Zero. _Me._

It is...truly in moments such as these that I feel the sweetest contentment within me...as pure, as untainted, as undefiled as a mountain spring.

I smile at her, leaning forward to press my lips to her forehead.

"Always…Yuuki-chan."

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End file.
